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I cannot believe that I haven't posted anything hear hear since September 2011!!

I knew that it had been a long time, but I never would have imagined that it had been that long. I have always been prone to taking long breaks from blogging, or any type of social media really, but well over a year of absence? That is even crazy for me.

Since it has been so long since my last post, it would be crazy to try to update on everything since then, so I guess, for the most part, I will just start anew...

I am still stuck living in Europe. I still cannot find a real job. I still cannot imagine what the LORD would want me here for, and my husband still tells me that we will move to the US only for me to later realize that, yet again, that was a lie. He keeps saying little things like, "Well, if we are living in the US then, then..." and things like that, but he has lifted up my hopes about it, and then broken my heart about it, so many time before, I can never know if I should believe him or not...

Last November, a week before Thanksgiving, I flew home to Ohio to spend the holiday season with my family. The first week was great. Thanksgiving was wonderful. The Saturday afterwards, my dad called my grandparent's house to make sure we knew that Ohio State beat Michigan, and that was the last time that I would ever talk to him again...
In the early hours on the next Monday morning, November 26th, my dad unexpectedly passed away in his sleep, less than a month after his 49th birthday...
I still cannot believe that he is gone...
On Saturday, December 1st, we said our final goodbyes and buried him...
I still cannot believe it is real...
Over four months later, I think I am still in denial. Being in Europe away from the family, away from home, probably makes it easier to pretend that he is not gone.
The daily emails from him don't come anymore. I used to think that he was crazy for sending me so many crazy little emails a day. Now I would give anything for his name to show up in the inbox every time I check.
I had already planned a long stay in Ohio before Daddy left. I didn't arrive back in Europe until February 1st. I was able to be there for my grandparents and, they were able to be there for me, praise the LORD. I cannot imagine what it must be like for them to have lost their youngest child; the child that was closest to them on top of it.
My trust in the LORD has been a great comfort to me. Without HIM, I have no idea who I would be able to survive this. Though the loss of my dad has been the most devastating and heartbreaking event in my life as of yet, I was able to greatly feel the LORD's presence through it all and HE blessed me greatly throughout. Thanks to the LORD, I was in the US when it happened. Thanks to the LORD, I was able to go out to dinner with Daddy, just the two of us, and have Thanksgiving with him. The LORD taught me a lot of wonderful things during this time, and for that I will be forever greatful.
The only thing that breaks my heart and has been driving me crazy, is that I am not 100% sure if my dad knew the LORD or not. The fact that I do not know where he is, is driving me insane...

While back in Ohio, I was able to find a wonderful little church whose members became instant family and were able to help me very much while mourning. Praise the LORD for them. I have been very good at staying in contact with them all, which is really out of the ordinary for me, and I love them dearly. LORD willing, I will see them all again when I am back in Ohio.

I do not want to write a novel in this one post here, so the last thing I will mention here, is that I will be going back to university (long distance) starting next month. I will be finishing 29 credit hours that I need to make up, so I should be finished after the fall semester. I am sure I will be writing more about that in future.

I don't plan on disappearing for a year or more again any time soon, so, if I still have any readers on here, hopefully there will be more coming soon. I have really had the urge to write lately. Also, I will hopefully be able to start reading other people's entries as well. It is a little bit late for that tonight, so perhaps I can start reading some tomorrow.

God bless!


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